When is a Journalist not a Journalist? When he's a Barman

When people ask me what I do for a living I don't bullsh*t or pull any punches - "I'm a barman," I say ruefully, "but I've just graduated from Uni."

"Ahh" they reply, nodding their head understandingly and with a sense of relief they don't have to feign interest or act impressed. If I feel like embellishing the truth a little bit, I may even say I'm a journalist, but this isn't an outright lie - far from it. I write articles weekly for a website, have a part-time job for another, and have this blog.

However there is only so long I can go on with these self-indulgent claims and delusions of grandeur. By the summer I will have not just graduated, and by September there will be a whole host of new graduates to battle against in the hunt for a job. Also, there is only a limited length of time I can claim that two part-time and largely unpaid roles constitute being a journalist. I am literally months away from being an official barman and its a distressing thought.

My only glimmer of hope is that by the summer the recession will have hit so hard even having a job for minimum wage will make me akin to royalty. I'll have beggars and vagrants approaching me from all angles when I walk down the street pleading to "spare some change Sire?" And with the house prices crashing it'll only be a matter of time before I can buy my own castle - perhaps. Or perhaps, as I suspect, the only thing the beggars and vagrants will be asking me is, "So what is it you do?"

"Errr.... nothing."